Last night I went to class reunion from the highschool I graduated from. Honestly, I was not too excited about it, but it was fun hanging out with my girls from back then. (we are still good friends btw.)

I have not been doing a lot lately. I simply don't find the concentration, strength or whatever. I don't even eat a lot but gladly I force myself to. This is scary somehow but I just hope it will get better soon.
Seriously, I am a little glad (but just a little!) that college starts again soon. I am not too excited about the whole studying and going to classes, but it will surely be the distraction I need. The other day I got my schedule for my next semester. I have classes from 9am to 7pm on some days which is tough but okay. I am taking a lot of classes which would be psychology, education, community work, social group work, theories of social work, history of social work, law and computer science. Exciting huh? I bet I already sound like a nerd.. but I am quite sure I made the right decision going to college to become a social worker some day (well, it'd be in 2009).

Another thing I am really looking forward to is the following: My cousin Lora, baby Lily and my Aunt Irmgard are coming to visit in October. I finally get to see them again which is not happening too often because they live in the states. I haven't seen them since last summer when I came to visit beautiful North Carolina. And by the way, I haven't even seen the baby though she's already 7 months old. I am so looking forward to seeing part of my american family.

Can't time fly by faster?

Seriously, this is driving me nuts! It's been two weeks and a day now and it seems like two months. I don't know why time never goes by fast during math tests, dentist appointments or flights.
I try to keep busy at which I'm actually not successful. I try to finish my paper for college which is due early October but I can't manage to concentrate on it. There are still like eight more pages left to write.
Also, I don't know where my loyal friends went...? This is tough to experience. I have some friends who care for me, but I was already quite sure about that before that tough time for me began. Yesterday I spent the day with Liza, taking her Aunt's dog Lotta for a walk on this really beautiful sunny day, and sitting around in the garden, just talking. These are the times when you know you're not lonely but you have some very special people around you.

The other day I walked around downtown because I had to wait for my sister who got a doctor's appointment. I went to several stores (note: I hate going shopping) and I found the one sweater I was looking for a long time ago.
Here is the picture my mum took of me wearing the sweater so you can see how cute it is. (Note: I know I look "comfortable" as usual. No comments please.)

One week

KJ has been gone for a week now. One week ago I had to say goodbye to him, not knowing when (and even if) I'll see him again. It has only been seven days but it feels like a couple of months.

He has been in Germany until Saturday noon I think. I am so frustrated because the army kinda "stole" us these three precious days we could've spent together.

Gladly he is able to communicate with me every day, either through emails, yahoo-chat (with webcam, so I get to see him at least. I really need to get one of those things too) or phone.
It's good to hear his voice but it makes me sad on the other hand too. He has called last night again. He says he's doing ok but he has to get used to the new situation again (it's his second deployment already. Poor baby). Also, he wanted to know when my semster ends early next year so he can ask for leave during that time. This is one thing I am really looking forward to right now, though I do not know when it will be. But it keeps me going.
It is tough to spend my days without him.
I am typing this blog now around 7pm. Around that time, KJ used to pick me up usually and we hung out somewhere. It's hard to keep these thoughts away now.


Yesterday I went with my mum and my sister to Würzburg. We simply walked around downtown. Even the sun decided to show up again which was nice. We played tourists and visited some pretty churches. We lighted a candle for KJ and my sister wrote something really cute into a book for the visitors' personal prayers. It was something like "Dear God, take good care of my sister's bf and make sure he is safe. Thanks!". Isn't it cute?

Though I have my doubts concerning the existance of God, I went to church on Sunday to send some prayers to God. In times like these, believing in something can be really helpful, at least that's something I have to experience. I will try to go to church every Sunday now, I hope I will stick to that.

Hm.

Well, here I am, sitting around and waiting for the hours to go by. I don't want to sound whiny and all that, but the last three days have been so horrible, seriously.
I don't know what to do, everything seems so senseless to me. I miss Karl so much, it's unbelievable. He was simply my life, and he still is. I honestly do not know how to deal with all the mess I'm confronted with in daily life. He keeps me sane, and I miss him dearly. I wish he would not be gone for so long. I often hear from people it is not that bad, I should not be complaining. So, do they even know what they're talking about? Of course I don't expect anybody to understand what I am going through right now. But I am so allergic to people who think this is something easy to get a long with. I would like to tell you, it is definately not. I am really heart-broken right now because someone so precious has left me. At least it's only temporary, thank God.
















This picture was taken before he had to leave. He had like two and a half hours off before that, and I'm glad we got to get some lunch together and hang out at the lake for a bit. It was so beautiful and I gladly enjoyed these last precious hours with him..














That's the last picture a nice guy took when it was time to say goodbye on post. It was so sad, I never want to do that again.
The good thing is, I know that he is definately worth all this. I would not be sitting here and praying if he wasn't. I know what I am waiting for, and all I hope for is this year is going by fast so I can be with him again..