Confusion, not knowing anything, is probably not an easy thing to deal with. As for now, I really do not know what is going to happen in the future. I don't know when I will see my love again- will it be in June, September or December? There've been too many rumours. There's been too many news. I don't know what to think or believe. I just hate the wait. Seven and a half months have passed so far, and it feels like forever. Another seven months, well, I guess they'd be hard, but I think I would be able to handle with it because I have no choice. NO choice at all. That is, just having to deal with the circumstances which are not really pleasant and which are not really good for your emotional well-being either. I would not go through all this if I did not know that everything was just so worth it. I just know it is. I can't wait for the moment I can hold my love again, hug him, kiss him, look into his eyes, and don't have to stare at a picture. If I really had to wait until christmas for him to be back again, well I would know it would be the best christmas present I'd ever get.

Until then, I will keep myself busy with work. My internship starts on Tuesday, so I am thinking that this will get me through the whole waiting thing a lot better. Studying to get my associate's degree kept me occupied a lot last semester, and this time my internship should keep me busy. I just hope time flies by, no matter how long my love will still be gone.

Feb 18- March 13, 2007

Finally, I got to see my bf again who has been in I. since August 30, 2006. We got to spend some very nice days with each other, and now I miss him more than ever!

Happy new year!!

Hope you had a nice New Year's Eve and celebrated a little with people you love. My best wishes for you all for 2007, may all your wishes come true.

As for me, I went out to a bar with some friends. Because of my new camera, I was able to make some pictures I'd like to share with you:).

Looks like we had fun, huh?

Christmas and the days after

This year, the Christkind (german pendant to Santa Clause) decided to bring me a digital camera because it wanted to bring me something special. It knew it could not get me what I wanted for Christmas (which would be KJ), so it tried to make it up to me. It did not really work because I missed KJ terribly, but at least I got a nice camera with which I can harrass people around me from now on:).

Here is some pictures I made the last couple of days, starting off with my mum, my siblings and me on Christmas Eve.

After family time, I met my friends Leni and Matthias at some café like every year on Christmas Eve. I haven't seen them for quite a while, so it was definately good seeing them again!

In Germany, we celebrate Christmas from December 24th (Christmas Eve) until the 26th. That means three days of Christmas for us. My friend Tina was born on Christmas, so she had a little party on the 26th which was pretty nice because I got to see her again, as well as my friends Regina and Sandy with whom I graduated as well.

I absolutely love winter break because almost everyone of my friends comes home to celebtrate Christmas with family. So that's a good opportunity to meet up with everyone I haven't seen a lot in the last year... so I finally got to hang out again with my friends Chrissi and Nina yesterday.

I love my new camera.

Plus, Lora, I can post pictures of baby McDowell as well. But that does not mean you should not save up money for your next trip to meet the latest family addition:).

Winter break

I know I haven't posted in a while, but the last couple of weeks have been very stressful. A lot of papers were due as well as some presentation, but gladly everything went well. I will get to know my grades some time in February, but at least I do not have a bad feeling about it.
As for now, I am off until January 8th. Mostly, I will spend this time with catching up sleep, eating real good food during the holidays hopefully:), spending time with friends and family and I also have to get started preparing for my finals which start January 18th. There is a lot of stuff to be put into my brain, let's hope it'll just work out fine and I will find the concentration to do well.
As for KJ, things are going alright. There is nothing I can do about it, so I will just have to hope time will fly by fast for both of us. I still miss him horribly- it has not changed at all. It's almost four months since he had left, and it seems to get closer to the date when we are able to see each other again. I am not very good at expressing my feelings in a written way, and especially not in a foreign language:). But I actually do not think I have to write it down because one can imagine how that must feel like.

This morning, I finally found out I will be working at a psychiatric clinic- starting March! I am so excited about it. I have heard several things about working there, like it is going to be really tough and you are going to be so exhausted when you come home. But I consider it as a great experience I am able to make, so I am looking forward to it.

The last few days I have been extremly busy with school. Currently I am working on a psychology paper about conditioning, and the other one is in education science about conspicuity. At least these subjects are pretty interesting so I am not really suffering.
Furthermore, I am having a job interview on Tuesday, the 21st at a psychiatric hospital for my internship next semester. I am already really nervous because I do not know what to expect. Maybe I am that nervous because I really want to work there; I consider a job at a psychiatric hospital as real demanding, and I could not think of any better place to intern as a student. So cross your fingers.

As for KJ, he has been gone for almost three months now. He is still the first thing that comes to my mind in the morning, and the last one right before I fall asleep. I still miss him dearly, and I can't wait to see him again. Only a little more than three more months!